The Intermediary – September 2025 - Flipbook - Page 87
B RO K E R B U S I N E S S
Opinion
Inner work that
changes everything
W
hen most of
us think about
‘becoming
beer’ we start
by looking
out. A new
productivity tool, a management
hack, the latest book on persuasion.
But the deepest transformations don’t
begin with tricks.
Jerry Colonna, former venture
capitalist turned executive coach, calls
for radical self-inquiry. His message
is consistent: until we face ourselves
honestly, our aempts to lead or
connect will be limited. I use this in
coaching all the time.
At its core, radical self-inquiry is
the practice of asking unflinching
questions about our own lives.
Noticing not just what we do, but
why we do it. These questions must
be asked non-judgmentally and
with respect.
I oen ask: “How have I been
complicit in creating the conditions I
say I don’t want?”
That question alone can shake
loose years of frustration. It reframes
problems not as things happening
to us, but as paerns we may
unconsciously reinforce. It’s not about
blame. It’s about ownership.
Leaders oen look for external
solutions to team dysfunction, low
morale, or poor results. The maturity
to li others up begins with selfawareness. When you understand
your triggers and fears, you stop
projecting them onto your team.
Radical self-inquiry exposes the
subtle ways we repeat old paerns.
Maybe we avoid conflict because
we fear rejection. Maybe we
micromanage because uncertainty
feels intolerable. Seeing these paerns
clearly opens the door to healthier,
more honest connections.
Self-inquiry teaches us to notice
our emotions rather than be ruled
by them. Instead of reacting in anger
or shuing down in fear, we create a
gap – a space where we can choose a
wiser response.
Colonna is clear: radical self-inquiry
is not about shame. Shame says, “I am
bad.” Self-inquiry says, “I see what I’m
doing, and I can choose differently.”
It is not indulgent navel-gazing; it is
rigorous and oen uncomfortable.
Discomfort is the ground of growth.
Imagine a manager frustrated
that her team never takes initiative.
Through self-inquiry, she notices her
own habit of jumping in too quickly,
correcting every small mistake. The
team has learned to wait for her
direction because she has trained
them that way. From that insight,
she experiments with holding back,
giving space for others to step up.
Slowly, initiative grows.
Radical self-inquiry doesn’t promise
easy answers. But over time, it
delivers something more powerful:
authenticity. Leaders who practise it
become more grounded, less reactive,
and more human. Teams trust
them because they trust themselves.
Relationships deepen because honesty
replaces pretence.
Perhaps most importantly, selfinquiry reconnects us with purpose.
When we strip away the defences, we
find not just flaws but also our deepest
values – the reasons we wanted to
lead, create, or love in the first place.
This method is simple, but not
easy. It takes courage to face your
own reflection without flinching.
Yet every step inward creates ripples
outward. When we grow more mature
and compassionate with ourselves,
we grow more capable of developing
others. The journey begins with a
question. What might change if you
dared to ask yourself the ones you’ve
been avoiding?
How to do it
Create space for reflection
You cannot do self-inquiry while
racing to a meeting or scrolling your
AVERIL LEIMON
is co-founder of White
Water Group
phone. Set aside 15 to 20 minutes daily
or weekly for journaling, walking, or
simply siing quietly.
Ask the hard questions
Use prompts like:
How have I been complicit in
creating conditions I don’t want?
What am I not saying that needs to
be said?
What am I saying that is not
being heard?
What paerns keep repeating in my
work or relationships?
Write answers without censorship.
Honesty maers more than elegance.
Notice your stories
Oen we tell ourselves stories: “I have
to do everything myself” or “If I show
weakness, people will leave.”
Write these down. Then ask: Are these
stories true? Where did I learn them?
Do they still serve me?
Hold your feelings gently
Self-inquiry may surface sadness,
anger, or fear. The goal is not to push
feelings away but to accept them as
signals. They reveal what maers.
Translate insight into action
Awareness alone is insufficient. If you
discover you avoid conflict, practise a
small act of honesty: tell a colleague
what you really think, kindly but
clearly. If you notice burnout, take one
concrete step to restore balance.
How to Begin Today
1. Write down one area that feels stuck.
2. Ask: What role am I playing in
keeping this stuck?
3. Share your reflection with a trusted
friend, coach, or therapist.
4. Choose one small behaviour to shi
this week. ●
September 2025 | The Intermediary
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